Should-have-Could-have-Would-have.

This one is simple. Well it sounds so simple in theory.

The message – ‘should’ is dangerous, ‘should’ is unhelpful, ‘should’ causes more harm than good. Should is what we tell ourselves when we think we need to do/be something. I should have a tidy house, I should completely adore this screaming new-born, I should be thinner and it goes on and on and on and on.

Sometimes ‘should’ can be helpful when it comes from a place of positivity, power and self-love. But how often is that the case? If you thought about it how many times a day do you tell yourself ‘should’……. probably a lot more that you realised and when you do is it helpful or harmful?

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A letter to your Husband.

Mate, we need to talk. It’s not you, it’s me. You’re great, you really are… I just really like your wife. We’ve been spending all our time together, talking, driving around, playing with the kids, even sleeping together.

I’m sorry.

I’m in all her selfies, she thinks about me before she goes to sleep and when she’s cooking you your dinner. I know this is all new to you but it’s been going on for a while. We met a few years ago briefly but recently reconnected.

I’m sorry.

She really wants to tell you about me, about us…… but she finds it really hard. So that’s what I’m going to do…. take control, which I’m good at doing and let you know all the dirty little details.

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Good Enough.

I work with a lot of Women who are first time, second time, third time Mums who are doing an awesome job. They have ‘good’ kids, they work, they put food on the table and are doing their best. My job among other things is to stop them in their moments of uncertainty and weakness and say “You are doing an awesome job. You are a great Mum. You care about your children and you are doing your absolute best. Take a minute and acknowledge that!!!”

Cue the tears because most people get caught up in the competition, the “my friend says”, “my midwife told me”, “my husband thinks” and forget that what they are doing day in day out is hard, really hard but they are still there still changing nappies, cooking, playing and most importantly wanting what is best for their kids. What more can you ask for… well I guess some “me time” or time alone on the toilet, or a cook, maybe a cleaner… wait I am getting off track.

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Dad sometimes knows best.

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A little while ago I went to a talk on the benefits of rough and tumble play and wanted to share what I learnt.
Firstly, my husband does this EVERY night after dinner with the kids and I’m constantly saying “STOP HYPING THEM UP BEFORE BED” but actually I think he is on to something (even though his timing is off)

This type of play when done well has positive effects on both the child and adult. It increases confidence, self esteem, brain functioning, mental health and is an invaluable bonding opportunity.
Now, by done well I mean that the adult very subtly lets the child win, praising the child for playing well, allows the child to direct the game and keeps everyone safe without obviously doing it (without saying watch out, careful or stop that). This last point allows a child to learn how to control their body, figure what’s enough and what’s too much on their own.
This is a lovely thing for Mums and Dads to do but I highly recommend for Dads to do it as they can sometimes find it hard to ‘play’ with their little ones.
So tonight after dinner… Mums tapping in for a quick wrestle so watch out boys 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻!!!!

 

You grew a HUMAN.

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Having the strength to stand up for what you believe in is so very hard. Especially in today’s world where you get ripped to pieces for having a view different to what other people believe.

When you first have a child you are so vulnerable, you consume every piece of advice, google constantly and always feel like you are doing everything wrong. Our news feeds are filled with extravagant craft ideas, gourmet home made organic meals for babies and banging post baby bodies that look too good to be true.

The majority of Mums that I work with develop postnatal depression due to the pressure of being the ‘perfect’ Mum. Who is this ‘Mum’, I’ve never met her. It’s gotten to a point where Mother’s Groups aren’t even a safe space anymore to share the truth because Mums are in competition to have an early crawler, a full nights sleep or a modelling contract.

If I could go back and tell my first time Mum self anything I would give myself a cuddle and say “You’ve got this, you are doing so well, be kind to yourself, this is so new, yes it’s scary but listen to your instincts, trust in your judgement, stand up for yourself when other people make you feel like your failing and most importantly sit in the moment and enjoy this new little life that YOU have created because you are awesome and GREW A PERSON”

Hey Mama

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I’ve recently started a new job working with Mums who are experiencing post natal depression. Wonderful Mama’s who don’t realise how strong and brave they are to have asked for help. Sometimes all it takes is a “Hey Mama, you’re doing just fine” to change someone’s day, week, month….. If you know a Mama, see a Mama or you are a Mama…. Tell them/yourself “Hey Mama, you’re doing just fine” because a little kindness can change the world, one Mama at a time ❤️

Water Baby


Do you think this kid loves water play or not? I regretted this 2 seconds in because that was how long it took for him to be totally drenched 💦 ( I didn’t pack extra clothes) but look how much fun he was having. How could I say no to that face?